Lindell's (AI) Hallucinations

AKA MyPillow Dreams

Artwork generated by Craiyon.

It’s so cool when several of my interests and areas of expertise come together in a single event. I’ve been speaking and writing about artificial intelligence (AI) and intellectual property (IP) lately, and suddenly I get a notice of a new article about Mike Lindell. I’m still waiting for the decision in his appeal of my federal court case that affirmed my arbitration win. It’s been six months without a decision as Lindell continues to spend money and avoid creditors like… well, like his old drug-addled, gambling self. I guess you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, a leopard can’t change its spots, and a pillow is always just a pillow.

The article is about a court order in another of Lindell’s many litigations as a defendant. In this case, he’s defending himself from defamation charges by Eric Coomer, former director of product strategy and security for Dominion Voting Systems. Lindell has been losing lawyers faster than U.S. corporations dropping DEI programs. Faster than presidents exiting Ivy League universities. Faster than the Democrats’ plummeting popularity polls. I’m pretty sure that’s what happens when you don’t pay your lawyers. And the quality of those lawyers who do take your case is not exactly top notch. As exhibited in this court order.

Lindell needed to submit a brief to court. And his lawyers did. Only there were a few problems with it. Well, actually there were nearly thirty problems in a 16-page document. There were “misquotes of cited cases; misrepresentations of principles of law associated with cited cases, including discussions of legal principles that simply do not appear within such decisions; misstatements regarding whether case law originated from a binding authority such as the United States Court of Appeals for the Tenth Circuit; misattributions of case law to this District; and most egregiously, citation of cases that do not exist.” There were also two lawyers cited at the bottom of the brief: Doug Wardlow and Jeremiah Pilon. Judge Nina Wang pointed out, however, that neither has appeared in the case and Mr. Pilon does not appear to be a member of the Bar of the United States District Court for the District of Colorado where the case is being held.

Lindell’s lawyer, Christopher Kachouroff, a named partner at the law firm of McSweeney Cynkar & Kachouroff, could not (or refused to) explain why this short document was rife with mistakes. Of course, when confronted with these mistakes in front of the judge, he did the honorable thing—he blamed the other attorney who signed the document, Jennifer DeMaster, who, he claimed, was responsible for checking it.

Eventually, under grilling from the judge, Mr. Kachouroff said that while he did most of the writing, he gave the brief to a generative artificial intelligence program to clean it up. Judge Wang treated this explanation “with skepticism.”

Judge Wang pointed out that both Mr. Kachouroff and Ms. DeMaster may have violated Rule 11 of the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure as well as the Colorado Rules of Professional Conduct (where the trial is taking place), the Virginia Rules of Professional Conduct (where Mr. Kachouroff practices) and the Wisconsin Rules of Professional Conduct (where Ms. DeMaster practices).

It looks like, once again, Lindell is going to be sanctioned. His lawyers may also be sanctioned and possibly disbarred. Lindell broke down recently in court, crying that he is now broke, but somehow, I don’t feel sympathy.

About the author

Bob Zeidman is the creator of the field of software forensics and the founder of several successful high-tech Silicon Valley firms including Zeidman Consulting and Software Analysis and Forensic Engineering. His latest venture is Good Beat Poker, a new way to play and watch poker online. He is the author of textbooks on engineering and intellectual property as well as award-winning screenplays and novels. His latest book is Election Hacks, the true story of how he challenged his own beliefs about voting machine hacking in the 2020 presidential election and made international news and (possibly) $5 million.